a couple of months ago i made the decision to be on a new reality show starring elle creative director joe zee. it's called all on the line - in each episode mr.zee assists a struggling designer. it was a no-brainer for me as the success of my line is my only priority in life (sad but true). they decided they wanted to focus on my family who has never offered me anything but support and i agreed to take them down with me. i knew joe would say that my line was tacky, slutty, and too over the top - i've been in the industry a long time and that's what normal people always say about my designs. and i ended up designing a few tasteful pieces with joe to show to buyers. but the result is me looking like a indecisive bimbo - which is exactly how i acted. i didn't realize then that the successes i've had are due to my aesthetic - that i'm not everyone else and that's what my customers like. even joe got frustrated with me because i didn't stand up for myself. insecurity is a blessing and a curse as it both drives and hinders me. so i've said it once and i'll say it again - be true to yourself. oh and watch the show - i did not go through that for nothin!
that brings me to another topic - i just got back from vacation where i read delivering happiness by tony hsieh (the founder of zappos.com). anyone who has or wants to run their own business must read it - truly mind blowing. i had a few epiphanies about the book but one strange one is that tony hsieh is a huge nerd. HUGE. a lot of the things he says make me cringe. there are qualities that i realize i consider uncool - taking oneself seriously, team spirit, promptness, formal communication, confidence. I'm going to start using caps now that I realize that's another one. Basically to me it's cool to be informal, self deprecating, funny, easy going. But those are not the qualities that make you successful (or look good on reality TV). It's a stupid, high school way of thinking I have to outgrow to achieve the success I'm working so hard for.
Another thing I loved about the book is that Tony Hsieh values kindness, honesty, and happiness in his company and attributes those values as keys to their success. A lot of times, especially for women and especially in fashion, you think you need to be a bitch to succeed. Nice to hear that isn't the case.
OK off to bed, tomorrow I'm starting filming on another reality show (sad but true).