Tuesday

MET BALL SPECTACULAR

It just doesn't stop lately. First, Kate Middleton wears David's Bridal and calls it McQueen (fucking commoners). Then Celebrity Apprentice gets interrupted before I can find out if that sexy little minx Hope finally gets doused with hot sauce and devoured by Nene Leakes and Star Jones. (I already knew Osama was dead by way of Lil Jon's Twitter, duh). And now this:


I mean now I have seen it all. Anna Fucking Wintor wearing ombre sequins stripes and a SMILE?!!! I wanted to say the dress was ugly but first I checked who designed it on the miniscule chance that McQueen, in his suicidal haze, designed this piece of shit, in which case I would let it go. But no, it is of course Chanel. Anytime you see someone with good taste wearing something ugly it is Chanel. 100% of the time. I mean were there no sequins gloves to accompany this look? If she was showing any less skin she'd be this guy:


Andre Leon Talley is wearing a robe to celebrate his graduation from slightly off to full blown insane. Ladies, if you think there aren't enough fashionable options for plus-size women take a moment to thank god you are not a plus size man. Andre has every designer in the world at his beck and call and the best he can get is a taffeta Snuggie with a train. 

Speaking of plus-size:


Bias cut silk charmeuse can make the thinnest woman look fat. So if you're pregnant well it's not gonna be cute. I can get past the belly but check out that long flat ass. I've got just the thing for this mess:


And look what popped out of Andre's Snuggie half way down the red carpet:


Zac Posen and Christina Ricci! Dear Lord her shit ain't right! The tiny waist! The giant eyes! The webby dress! 
 

At last, some real McQueen on some real fashionistas:


"Hey guys, since Daphne is gonna be completely covered in feathers and Hamish is gonna be completely covered in tartan I was thinking it'd be cool if I carried a plaid notebook, you know, kinda blend in. Guys? Guess you don't really care, just a yay or nay please. Guys?"

And finally, how does this girl get away with looking so slutty? 


Dressing like a whore while being hailed a fashion icon is a stunt many have attempted but few have achieved, believe me I know. I salute you, Blake Lively.

10 comments:

  1. omg that was funny, thanks!

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  2. laughing through tears watching that future Leila Shams VOGUE feature disappear into the night.

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  3. fing amazing. 100% of the time chanel, totally true.

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  4. can we talk about Jenna Lyons for a second..
    its a sweater godamn it.

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  5. I am so glad you have a blog. I posted about your designs before and now I can post about your wit. Thanks be to designers with (good) humor!

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  6. L...I didn't know this was you writing this. You are good. Keep it up. Very entertaining. LOved it.
    Brett

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  7. i was laughing hysterically-- i can't STAND CHANEL and/or Lagerfeld bc he's such a rude, pompous jerk who hates anyone over a size 2 ( except Crystal Renn who is amazing but i think he only worked w/ her bc he wanted the attention). Even though I must say I do love Andre Leon Talley, he might be over the top but having met him a few times and worked briefly at VOGUE i can say he is a good person with a good heart.

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  8. i was laughing hysterically-- i can't STAND CHANEL and/or Lagerfeld bc he's such a rude, pompous jerk who hates anyone over a size 2 ( except Crystal Renn who is amazing but i think he only worked w/ her bc he wanted the attention). Even though I must say I do love Andre Leon Talley, he might be over the top but having met him a few times and worked briefly at VOGUE i can say he is a good person with a good heart.

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  9. I am so glad you have a blog. I posted about your designs before and now I can post about your wit. Thanks be to designers with (good) humor!

    ReplyDelete