Monday

FASHIONISTAS AS THE BIGGEST LOSERS

There are two prerequisites to being a street fashion celebrity besides having great style. One is having shit tons of money. No one is photographing you in the same crappy Forever 21 dress and Steve Madden platforms you wore last week. The other is being extremely thin. The kookier the outfit the less you need to weigh to pull it off. If you're ever dying of starvation your last request should be: "BURY ME IN PRADA SPRING '11". That's the collection with cartoon bananas and monkeys all over it. I say cartoon because that's what makes it ridiculous. Photo printed bananas and monkeys would have been tasteful and awesome.

Exhibit A is Susie Bubble. She's known for wild print mixes and for never blogging about me. Here's some highlights:


Let's see how one of these outfits holds up on a larger woman, a contestant from "The Biggest Loser".


Oh man, the look went from unfuckable to unfuckabler. I hope she changes out of those sneaks when she gets to the office. FAIL.

Next up is international blogging sensation and Peta enemy No.1 Bryanboy. His insane outfits make Susie Bubble look like Hillary Clinton.


Here's the first look modeled by another "Biggest Loser" contestant:


This is actually quite slimming. The original photo is below. Who needs diet and exercise when a giant beaver fur hat/scarf can visually take off this many inches? A+!


Lastly we have the Queen Bee of street style, Anna Dello Russo, editor of Vogue Japan. No one pulls off a fruit hat quite as well as she does, although to be fair there's not a ton of competition in that arena.


Let's see if this fur coat is as slimming as the fur hat. 


Yikes, I'm afraid not. Perhaps a watermelon hat would help to bring the eye up. She may not look thin but she does look quite fashionable. C-.

8 comments:

  1. sorry but i think they all look ridiculous....

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  2. I would wear all three and NOT give a shit! I also, would NEVER be shot as a street styler no matter how tall I am and amazing my outfit is...ho hum...it's fun to look at skinny people and imagine them getting really fat as soon as they find a husband and pop out a few kids...of course, we in fashion don't do the whole "kid" thing so we are safe for now!

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  3. This made me laugh! Its completely true though, and you can see it in the hype count on Lookbook.nu.... When I was younger I would walk around dressed like Suzi Bubble, but I liked to believe that all the dirty looks I got were because I lived in a city notorious for its love of cowboys. Ah welll~ :)

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  4. THe three bloggers are bigger losers than the fatties. I like flash that flatters.

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  5. Funny funny post girly! :) Also, I'm new to blogger and would love if you checked out my blog! and follow if you like! :) XoXo Mgymnastbeauty

    http://mgymnastbeauty.blogspot.com/

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  6. This is the best post I've seen. EVER.

    I'm obsessed with The Biggest Loser. I like to watch it when I work out. It's incredibly motivating.

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  7. it's not the people that dress up like this that bother me...it's their supporters and obsessed fans. Anyone can throw random designer clothes on themselves.

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