A few years ago I was minding my own bidness when a girl asked if she could take my picture. I figured it was for a style blog which was real wishful thinking considering what I was wearing. The next day I appeared on an adorable site called Street Carnage as STREET BONER 673.

It started out nice enough. I was awarded 10 pussies, the highest honor bestowed upon a street boner. But the comments quickly turned ugly. Here's some highlights:

2345670987654 was written by my ex. I told him to say we were pregnant so people would stop making fun of my belly. Pretty bold of him to use an alias so similar to his name.

Colleen, jaw-r (Jordi) and bwrong (Brian) were also friends coming to my defense. I love Jordi's third boob comment. Brian's insinuation that I've had extensive plastic surgery and I'm out every night was not particularly helpful.

My favorite is "with the addition of a tricorner Paul Revere hat this ensemble might have worked". Seriously what the fuck was I wearing? Perhaps I was just ahead of my time. In 2009 I was accused of being color blind. In 2011 I'd be accused of color blocking. 

Thank goodness for men who are able to look past our questionable wardrobe choices. God bless you, Jesus Shit.


  1. It's obvious that none of those people who made the comments saw you on "All On The Line" with Joe Zee.

    MEGA hot. :)

  2. Jesus shit is the best name...I bet that guy is a food critic.

  3. hahaha holyshit! i used to look that shit up....

    that is a color mash up but you look cute still - and you don't have smug mug on!