Wednesday

ZOMBIES ARE THE NEW BACON

Here's a list of ladies following one Twitter user:


These accounts were created by a company that you pay to get more followers. I hope the person who bought this crew has a shit ton of bacon tweets lined up. And how did all these girls get certified in gaming? I bet that certificate gets them laid ALL THE TIME.

Here's another piece of the same follower list:


Looks like zombie fanatics might eventually become the most popular fake users on Twitter, easily beating bacon evangelists and giving subtly charming bacon enthusiasts a run for their money. 

Bacon has been a trend for years. Some claim it started with this 2006 post about taping bacon to a cat http://whatever.scalzi.com/2006/09/13/clearly-you-people-thought-i-was-kidding/ The trend caught on due to its anti-foodie/anti-healthy message. Pretty soon there were bacon bras, alarm clocks, band-aids, and iPhone apps.

Zombies seemed to pop up quite suddenly (a very non-zombie like trait). Maybe if I had my gaming certificate I would've seen the trend coming but it feels like overnight people stopped using their iPhones to make themselves appear obese and started using them to appear undead.

John Foscante, a self proclaimed zombie expert, claims that zombie fanatics are anti-vampire; vampires represent all that is sexy, rich, and fashionable. As Chiara Sullivan, a student of John's, puts it, "zombies represent the 99% and vampires are the dicky bankers".

The bacon and zombie trends signify a rejection of refined tastes. This stinks of another tragic movement, a dark stain on American history when the unkempt masses turned against the sexy minority. 

the Disco Demolition Riot of 1979. reversible sign ready for action
guess settling this with a dance off is out of the question

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