A TALE OF TWO BIJANS (BIJAN PAKZAD, BIJAN SHAMS)

Apparently I am not the only completely ridiculous Persian fashion designer in the world. Meet Bijan, the self proclaimed king of Beverly Hills.

Those of you old enough to remember the 80s might remember Bijan.  Then it was all about Beverly Hills - there were Camp Beverly Hills t-shirts, Giorgio Beverly Hills perfume, Beverly Hills Cop movies, and of course Beverly Hills 90210.  Displaying your wealth was de rigueur and that's something Bijan wrote the book on.  He had a big perfume and was famous for designing a gun made of pure gold.

Well times have changed but Bijan has not.  My brother's name is also Bijan, so a friend of his came across this video (presumably while on-line stalking my brother).  Bijan (the brother) edited it down to a palatable length.

The amazing thing about this video is that Bijan thinks he is being charming.  It's like the only thing Americans loathe more than rich people is Middle Eastern people.  Wake up and smell the hate, Bij!

But the more I think about it the more I realize that to be successful you have to be delusional. Nothing will hold you back more than considering what other people will think, second guessing your ideas, or being self conscious.  People will talk shit no matter what you do so why not say fuck it and get rich?

When I was working at Express the incredibly successful CEO, asking about what to deliver in December (a season ridiculously called "Resort" because a tiny percentage of people go on vacation at this time) poised this question to the room: "What is our girl buying to wear on her Holiday in St.Tropez?"  So that's what she does with all the money she saves buying $39.99 dress slacks!

Some gems from Bijan the designer:

On his love life:  "My lady companion is 30 years old.  She's pretty and she's on her way to becoming an attorney and I love that."

On his price points:  "I happen to be the most expensive clothing designer in the world and (mock sympathy) I am sorry for that."

On his house keeper:  "That is Olivia and I love (corrects himself) like her very much."

In contrast, some gems from Bijan the brother:

On people:  "I hate everybody."

On current affairs:  "The world is ending."

On his sister:  "The best thing about you is that you don't think."

With that attitude I can tell you that Bijan the brother will never get what Bijan the designer ends his video with: George W. Bush saying, "You da man."

MULTI TASKING

over christmas my dad suggested that my collection focus on beatles the band not beetles the bug and offered one of his ties (he considers himself a tie collector/expert) with beatles lyrics printed on it for inspiration. i don't really like music and i have absolutely no feelings towards the beatles, perhaps even a mild disregard so i'm gonna pass on that suggestion.

inspiration is actually the one thing i don't struggle with - i could come up with a different theme every day. one of my jobs was "director of color and concept" for express - it was amazing. i didn't have to get involved in the nitty gritty of design - i came up with the colors, prints and themes - the fun stuff - and i got paid for it!

now i have to do everything and it actually costs me money. in the last few weeks i've styled and retouched my spring lookbook (the second one - wasn't happy with the first), designed and sent out fall prints, e-mailed bloggers and stylists about the new collection, met with sales and pr showrooms, trafficed pr samples, made spring production orders, designed and sent out fall embellished pieces, updated and redesigned my website, started a blog, photographed samples for the on-line store, developed 2 custom pieces for clients, shopped vintage and new for embellishments and specs, paid invoices for make-up artists, hair stylists, photographers, factories and showrooms, sourced and bought fabric, and worked on 2 freelance projects.

i am a horrible combination of night owl, procrastinator and control freak. i'm really lucky to have an amazing assistant (love you amiko!) who is not only talented but extremely organized. she is going to be famous, i am 100% positive. however she insists on going to school, i have no idea why. well i know why but it still makes me mad.

i guess that brings me to my point - learn as many skills as possible before starting your own business. for a fashion line that's draping, pattern making, sewing, web design, jewelry making, photography, sketching, book keeping - the more you can do for yourself the cheaper it'll be and the happier you'll be with the results. i can't sew for shit and it is painful.